Food, a good four letter F word.

One of the things my surgical center stressed Pre Surgery was to learn your relationship with food.  I really didn't attribute my weight gain with an emotional need for food, but rather food was an annoyance I had to placate.  I didn't love food, in fact most times I hated it.  I'd see myself in the mirror, hate the way I looked and blamed food.  So, I'd limit food, I'd abstain from food, then I'd give into food because...I was hungry.  After eating, I hated food again.  So, yes, learning your relationship WITH food is important.

Food didn't make me fat; my personal choices made me fat and food was the scapegoat.  For the first three weeks following surgery, I had no food.  I was on a liquid only diet and when you are drinking your meals, it forces you cleanse away any predipositions you have carried.  I was in an unusual situation; I was to start with soft foods at three weeks post surgery.  Instead I was back on the operating table having my gallbladder removed.  I won't go into large detail at this time regarding life after removal of the gallbladder, but suffice to say, dietary changes are a must.  So couple this with GB and all food notions are out the window.  I quickly realized in the weeks following surgery my tastes had changed.  Foods I loved, made me gag.  Foods I didn't care for were now tasty.  Also pasta makes me very sick...which is very difficult since in my former life I was a turbo carb loader :/  I've heard from other GB patients they have also experienced such.  I cannot say if it's rerouting of the digestive tract or being without the use of canine incisors for nearly a month that brings on these changes.  It's an interesting journey when you can't wait to start eating foods you loved, to find you have no interest in those foods whatsoever.

Having two back to back major surgeries took its toll on me.  My body was just worn out and my energy stores were non existant.  But one thing I did find rather quickly was, I didn't like canned food.  Could be that I lived on canned soup broth for about four weeks?  Could be this whole transformation I just described.  Nonetheless, I wanted to eat cooked food.  Did I want to cook at that time?  No.  I'm the chef in the house, so if I was going to eat, I was going to have to cook for myself.  At first I overwhelmed myself cooking huge meals that I could only eat about an ounce at a serving.  I quickly got burned out and starting finding ways to scale it all back.  I finally set up my Aerogarden and grew beautiful herbs such as basil, dill and thyme.  That alone is a huge inspiration to cook something lovely!  I also developed a love affair with my slow cooker.  What I tell anyone who asks "how do you find time to cook?" is it doesn't take much more time to cook a meal than to buy, store, unwrap, microwave and cool down a Lean Cuisine!  Find tools that aid you and entice you to utilize them.  I've made an amazing meal from a cheap cut of beef, thrown it in my slow cooker and here's how it relates to Lean Cuisine:  I unwrap a piece of meat, I place it in the slow cooker, I add 2-3 fresh ingredients and either water or broth.  Turn it on and walk away for 6-8 hours.  Then I put on a pot of water and wait for it to boil.  I throw in some fresh veggies and walk away for about 10 minutes.  When I come back I have a meal.  In total, it takes about 10 minutes of prep work and I am left with meat that is fork tender that rivals a filet mignon and fresh veggies that don't taste like metal.  Also, given the size of your family, possibly that 10 minutes of prep you just invested, could garner a meal for several days.  I've made BBQ chicken in my slow cooker that I transformed the next night into BBQ chicken quesadillas; premade chicken, 2 flour tortillas and cheese in a pan...2 minutes.  This works for me.  It took several months for me to find what did work.  I've always loved to cook, so it wasn't as hard as it might be for someone who doesn't cook.  Maybe you are lucky enough to have a partner who loves to cook but hasn't found inspiration.  Maybe your role could be prep work, shopping locally or finding tools for the kitchen.  Whatever it is, find it.  Food should be your friend, not enemy.

My new facination is with shopping locally.  I'm exploring local farmer's markets and butcher shops, buying fresh and cooking often.  If you buy produce in season, the price is about the same that pay for frozen in the grocery store...tasting better and improving the quality of your meals and health.  My goal is to go Saturdays and Wednesdays.  My weekly menus will be created after returning from the market with whatever I've found!  An awesome internet tool I use every day is http://www.foodtv.com/.  You can enter anything into the search engine, from ingredient to main component and search recipes.  You can adjust the recipes according to rating, relevancy, ease, and cooking time.  I choose rating and have never been disappointed, but do what works for you.  For example, broccoli is in season right now.  My family isn't a huge fan of broccoli.  So I need to find a quick way to cook it, in a way they will eat:
http://www.foodnetwork.com/recipes/rachael-ray/chili-garlic-roasted-broccoli-recipe/index.html
Took me 2 minutes to find this recipe and I'll make it tomorrow night with the orange honey roasted chicken I was planning to make!  Healthy, preservative free, and delish!  I like the rating feature because not only do you see that others have made and enjoyed it, but reviewers can post adjustments or suggestions for you to try as well. 

So two "foods of thought":  first, figure out how food fits into your life.  Second, figure out how to make it easy to fit food into your life effectively.  There is nothing more that I enjoy than to make the people I love smile.  When my loved ones walk into the kitchen and smell what I've created, they smile and say "when's it ready?"  There was a quote that went around a few years ago "Food is Love."  I think it was targeted at overweight folks who were unhappy and used food as a way to find peace.  The quote took on a negative connotation, which is sad.  For me, food is love.  I cook for my loved ones and it makes them happy, making me happy.  And now, finally, I've learned to cook for myself.  I've found ways to cook that make me look and feel better and that is a very good thing.

Vitamins, vitamins...where for art thou Vitamins?

Today's entry is personal.  First, sorry it's composed so late in the day.  I was delayed at my surgical clinic having 15 vials of blood drawn.  Which brings me to our topic:  could you be doing everything right and still need more?

I showed up at the clinic and they handed me a few forms:  one to verify current medications, one to give an example of my daily food intake, and one asking symptoms that brought me to the clinic in the first place. 

1.  Since surgery and subsequent weight loss, I'm off all meds except the lowest dose possible of Xanax.  Am hoping to be off that very soon, but not quite there yet.  According to the shrink at the clinic, they recommend no patient change pysch meds for a year after surgery.  I didn't think I'd need an entire year to wean off this last jagged little pill, but alas.  I choose to be happy with all I've accomplished instead of what I have not.  I chew 2 Centrum each day.  They did say to add chewable calcium, so will do tomorrow. 

2.  Breakfast, container of greek yogurt.  AM snack, piece of oatmeal bread toasted with peanut butter.  Lunch, tuna salad with chopped hard boiled egg and a slice of tomato.  Afternoon snack, protein shake.  Dinner, 2 ounces of baked chicken and 1/4 cup of steamed green beans.  PM snack, 2 ounces of cheddar cheese and 2 Triscuit crackers.  Doc said "your diet is stellar!"  So A+ for me tee hee. 

3.  Symptoms:  extreme fatigue, dizziness, mental confusion, cold hands and feet, no appetite.  I had what I could best qualify as the flu (doc asked if I went to the clinic and verified it was indeed the flu I said no) about 2 weeks ago.  So last week when these symptoms popped, I chalked it up to coming off having the flu.  The fatigue was nearly debilitating yesterday afternoon.  By this morning, I forgot how to drive home from dropping my daughter off at school; a drive I do twice a day, 5 days a week.  I called the resident on call and he said get to the clinic...so I did.  Gave more blood than a vampire could drink, but it should give us a nice WIDE target to aim for!  They gave me a B12 shot; I had been doing B12 shots regularly before GB but since surgery, haven't had any symptoms.  I do think that's the underlying issue now and I have to face facts that my body cannot absorb B12 naturally, which sucks.  Then she asked how much water I drink each day.  I told her 100 fluid ounces, give or take, not including fluid from my protein shakes or cup of coffee.  She says "that's too much.  I want you to cut back to 64 ounces...you might have sodium deficiency."  Huh?  Too much water?  Not enough sodium?  Huh?

We're conditioned in this program to get in as much water as humanly possible to stave off dehyration.  Another key topic is salt because it's not good for you in general, but it dehydrates.  So I'm told I am drinking TOO much and have TOO little sodium.  Huh?  I guess we'll wait to see what the tests reveal. 

I'm not posting this to scare or confuse.  What I'm trying to say is, I'm told I'm the poster child for gastric bypass surgery and weight loss.  I've done everything I was told to do, I've had huge success with my weight loss and skin retention, and no hair loss.  I've had no metabolic issues whatsoever and have started a very good exercise regime.  And I woke up this morning feeling like I was losing my mind.  This is normal.  If you have symptoms that make you feel "just not right," call you doctor.  So you sacrifice a few pints of blood and spend a few hours in waiting and exam rooms...but that's what they are for.  This is a life long journey and they are your tour guides, so use them!  You aren't bothering them and no question is a stupid question.  If you are in a Center of Excellence, there is no question or symptom they haven't heard of or answered.  I'll let you know tomorrow what they've discovered and how I will adjust my "stellar" daily menu accordingly.  Just remember, you can only do what you can do...and no more.