Bliss

I'm coming up on my One Year Anniversary of my Gastric Bypass.  This is forcing me to view myself, and my life in general, in a different way.  I am not the person I was a year ago.  I'm thankful for the gift of this surgery and what it's brought to my life.  And I think I'll focus some effort into trying to articulate these feelings:

It's easy to say my life has changed because of what I eat.  It has changed, but not because of what I eat.  It's changed because of why I eat; instead of eating because I was bored, or stuffing food in my face because I was busy, I now eat with purpose.  I chose very carefully exactly what I'm willing to endure after eating, if I choose badly.  I chose carefully because I'm very aware every bite counts towards daily protein intake.  But I choose carefully because I wanted to ensure that eating still remained a joy, not a chore.  GBPers have two paths after surgery:  lose weight from happiness or frustration.  You will lose weight, you have no choice.  Your choice remains in how happy you will be here on.

For many months, I ate with purpose:  to not lose my hair nor muscle mass.  I was terrified of the stories I'd heard regarding these issues due to lack of protein intake.  Undoubtedly, many folks who qualify for surgery have achieved weight gain from being carb lovers (me included).  It becomes natural to eat the yummy carbs first, proteins take the backseat.  I was never an Adkins supporter thinking "how can you lose weight eating steak and bacon?"  But I see the overall premise of the program now...proteins are important in filling you up and  keeping your hunger staved.  Carbs in fruits (not many for me, too much sugar) and veggies are second on the list of eats...but simple carbs are in my past.  I don't miss them, surprisingly.  So I guess that could have something to do with my outlook for my future.  But I have to wonder how many GBP patients have deep regret over never being able to eat the things that truly bring them joy.

I suggest if you are in this category, look for alternatives.  I felt a tad silly going into Barnes&Noble to buy Bethenny Frankel's books Naturally Thin and Skinnygirl Dish.  But Bethenny's Claim To Fame is not dieting; it's changing HOW you cook to just be naturally a thin person without making a huge change in your everyday food prep and eating process.  Her mantras can hold true for anyone, but it was particularly interesting to me in that, she's created a menu that is balanced, low in sugar and fat and delicious.  So, by using these recipes and the changes she's made to every foods I thought I could no longer eat, I can eat and feel very satisfied with food choices.  I love cookies:  now I can eat ONE cookie, but no longer feel even slight desire to eat six.  That's the difference.  I cannot eat semolina pasta, but whole wheat or rice pasta in small amounts is fine.  So I urge you, if you are feeling unhappy because of the choice you made to have this surgery, what are you missing?  And can you make a substitution to at least feel as though you are going to miss this for the rest of your life?

I don't want to feel as though I'm a lucky one.  I am blessed because before my one year anniversary I have reached my target weight and am so healthy I am running 3 miles a day (soon to be 4!).  I had goals when I went into this life changing decision, one, being able to run again!  And nothing feels more free that taking off your shoes and just running.  You have to find your inner bliss and hang onto that.  If you're not blissful, bless yourself with a quiet moment alone, pen and paper if necessary and really dig deep to realize what make YOU happy.  Because no matter how many people you have close to you, that depend on you, or just love you for who you are; you cannot love them fully until you learn to love everything about yourself.  This starts with finding your bliss. Happy hunting :)